All My Little Ponies. (What d'ya mean red dead ain't a riding sim?)

The Horses in Skyrim are shit.

I understand, horses and ponies are hard to animate, and almost impossible to balance. Having played skyrim for a couple of hours only I managed to amass the 1000g needed to buy a very beautiful stocky nord horse. It was beautifully animated, and stood in it's pen behaving as I have seen real horses do. It made the right noises, it moved in the right way and I WANTED IT. I had had bad experiences with in game horses before so I saved before buying her, climbed aboard allie and watched to my dismay as she walked at human speed and sprinted slower than my character could. Crap. A reload then. Added to this, riding instantly forced me to go into third person, so all the practice I put in was useless. I couldn't use a two-handed weapon whilst riding, so my beserker was essentially slowed and disarmed all because I was silly enough to try and ride a horse. I do however understand bethesda's logic. Horses are powerful. In game there is the option to steal the animals. If they went too fast the thief would be unstoppable, so instead the horse becomes as useless as the famed 'horse armour' of Oblivion.

All in all I give the Skyrim horse 3/10.

There are at least two ways to counteract this discrepancy, one is to time-lock the horse until you reach a certain level or you play for a certain amount of time. This was the method used in Harvest Moon: Back to Nature. Not only was this the best version of the farm simulator it had one of the most balanced in game horses. You can receive your steed simply by activating an event in the first month of your arrival at the farm. The animal is brought to you by a neighbour but is too young to be ridden. So for one in game year ( around 25 hours of playtime) you must tend to the foal, brushing him everyday so that he loves you. When next spring comes around if your neighbour is pleased with the horse's progress he gives him to you. In this way, the instant excitement of having an animal on your farm is coupled with the waiting game in which you grow attached to all its pixels. This tending process is rewarded with a horse who can not only be ridden but also acts as a moveable shipping box which allows the crops you harvest to be sent to the buyer (Really useful in game). The horse also unlocks a horse racing mini-game to be played once a year. The soft-lock on the horse is perfectly designed to be as satisfying as possible to the player and in the end getting the steed feels like a reward for the love and attention you put in.

8/10

Another method of locking out a horse from the game is to control the rarity of good horses. This is illustrated brilliantly by Red Dead Redemption. Red dead is easily the best horse riding simulator I have ever played. I understand that other people played it for the action, the story and the adventure and whilst all of those things were great it was the horses that kept me playing in the closing acts of the game. Once I had completed the main story I stopped fast travelling altogether. I rode and rode and rode the length and breadth of that country, because it was more fun than fast travelling. The horses were balanced, only by unlocking new areas would new breeds reveal themselves, this meant that you might steal a horse and still feel the arm of the mounted law. The mini-game for breaking horses was also an interesting and important addition which added a challenge to unlocking new and better steeds. The horses are well characterised: they throw aggressive riders, and respond well to an apple or two if they are in the mood. Every atmospheric moment I had in game, every heart pounding moment, every blissful bit of reverie was on the back of my horse. 10/10

Being a girl gamer I have played A LOT of Pony/horse sims. For the most part they were utterly without merit. But the game I enjoyed most was Mary King's horse riding star. The game play was super fun and challenging. In fact I may just pick it up off ebay for £2. 6/10

A couple of missing examples:

Epona: 7/10.

Ponyta/Rapidash: 1/10

All MLP games to date: 5/10 O.o

Madness Returns: Puberty is Pretty Rough.

'This unmitigated disaster is your doing. And it will get worse. Your Train keeps a hellish schedule. Get moving... The change has begun'

'The train is perfectly capable of terrifying me, Cat.'

Alice: Madness Returns is not the best game ever made, but it is certainly the best in-game exposition of female puberty.

Video games traditionally under-represent women. With a couple of exceptions such as Metroid, Portal, and Red Dead Redemption, women in games are not well rounded. Thinking on the characters that come to mind from this brief list, what makes, Samus, Galdos, Chell and Bonnie different is their overt masculine qualities. Feminine and vulnerable women are generally over-sexed, whiny or difficult. They are foils to the protagonist, that is, if they merit inclusion at all.

Initially Alice circumvents these issues by presenting it's eponymous protagonist as a child. She begins the game in a doctor's office, as she leaves a very young kid enters the office saying: 'It's my turn to forget, Alice.' No delineation, other than height, is made between the teen Alice and the six or seven year old boy. She wears the simple smock of her infantile brethren, and whilst she is almost twice as tall as these strange dwarfish children she is similarly wan and pale. She has been in therapy a long long time. Her vulnerability is her initial personality. Her wonderland seems at best escapist: the game to stop a runaway train is Alice's attempt to eradicate the memory of childhood trauma.

The wonderland we first encounter is captivating, light and absolutely stunning. Whilst helpless in London, unable to so much as jump; in her fantasy she is lighter than air. Her skirts allow her to triple jump across wide expanses of sky. Alice's initial experience of wonderland is childhood fantasy becoming a reality. Careless and and free she negotiates the simple and linear opening level of Madness Returns with ease. That is, until she finds the vorpal blade, and meets her first enemies, dolls and black slime, combined together. Blood, and the shedding of blood, becomes her first taste of dealing with the difficulties and frustrations of an aggravated childhood. Her transformation from child to adult is initiated through these attacks.

As Alice grows steadily more experienced in violence, and aggression she gains an adult understanding of the world. The game's writers links narrative transition directly to character development. As pubescent fantasy, the story is carried predominantly by Alice's sexual experiences. The more blood she sheds, and the more deeply entrenched she becomes in wonderland, the easier it is to re-examine her past. Her childhood, we learn was torn apart by the fire in which her parents and sister were killed, as she struggles to piece together these experiences she battles the horror and fear which all teenage girls encounter. But Alice has the advantage of experiencing these emotions and the difficulties through a fantasy in which she wields a razor sharp knife. Lucky girl.

Perhaps if such monsters were not presented, the knife would be turned upon her own body. Wonderland offers not simple a childish escape but the opportunity for action. As she destroys life, Alice becomes the active character in an inert world. This is emphasised by her encounter with the Walrus. As in the original Alice game, the side characters are unable to escape the clutches of passivity. The Walrus has Alice round up his cast, mutters the inescapable riddles. The side characters, with the exception of the cat, watch the oncoming destruction of wonderland without batting an eyelid. They welcome and submit to oncoming disaster because inaction is so tempting, so easy. They too, seem like children, trapped in the fantasy of wonderland but unwilling to take the action which would allow them to grow.

By continually battling the violent the demons which plague and destroy her childhood wonderland, Alice is negotiating the path to adulthood. Unable to remain as it was, wonderland is a spectre to which Alice clings but can no longer sustain. Either she chooses to forget, to ignore the traumas of her past as her Doctor suggests, (The doctor later reveals his true motives) or she fights through and embraces the trials and difficulties of puberty. In creating this narrative the developers have produced a brilliantly polished character The narrative is driven, not be the illusive and ridiculous notion of a gothic train, but by Alice's desire to grow. The train represents the onslaught of technology and development, these are things Alice does not really reject at all. She recognises that her nostalgia for wonderland is destructive, another kind of forgetting, which would ultimately lead to her own destruction. Whilst all around her cling to the past, she fights for the future. The train is not her enemy, it is merely her means of getting places.

Alice is no longer able to stay in her childhood fantasy, she must except the onslaught of puberty. This is made particularly clear when she comes to the red queen's castle and is confronted with a long heart-shaped passageway. Red and slimy, it drips, it is, after all a vagina. This blood is not limiting, it is liberating. By walking the passage Alice's development continues and culminates in meeting with the red queen. A mirror image of Alice herself or perhaps her sister, the queen decodes the riddle: 'The train is trying to destroy all evidence of your past, and especially the fire.' Through self-reflection, Alice can find the truth. Through individual growth she can save herself. The deadliness of self-reflection is another theme throughout Madness Returns. The potent philosophy of escapism and avoidance is encouraged by wonderland's cast of characters, but Alice must defy them.

As a videogame Alice: Madness Returns thrives because it counteracts the persistent lack of control present in Carroll's novel with interactive gameplay. The game allows that sense of self-control, and engagement which the original story never delivered. As Alice becomes more deadly, and more aware of sex the in-game collectable memories offer a new narrative.

Rather than simply being told things the narrative allows Alice to re-experience memories in a new and sexualised light. She talks of the fluffy undergraduates who fell in love with her older sister. And in one unerring moment of self-consciousness, Alice remembers the advances of one creepy old man whose advances turned towards her younger self. This, is Carroll himself, or rather Charles Dodgson who appealed to the real Alice Liddell, sent his manuscripts and it is believed; asked for nude photos. The writing in this game is astounding, revealing and dangerous. Rather than shirking responsibilities, or being too attached to the material, (one thinks of Burton's Alice) it interrogates the author, and the story.

Madness Returns is a game all girls should play. Alice is weak, she is terrorised, tortured only to be empowered by action. Her puberty is a process of violence, death and emotion. Rather than being tempered, she fights, rather than being sexy she is sexually aware. By smattering the game with sticky juices Alice becomes a gripping and engaging experience, which encourages reflection. Rather than escapist fantasy, wonderland becomes the space in which Alice can investigate her own burgeoning self-awareness. The game offers teenage girls a similar space to encounter the realities of a bloody and violent puberty so rarely touched upon by mainstream culture.

L.A. Noire: The Wrong Side of The Yellow Tape.

LA Noire was almost genre defining. The first time I sat down and played it the scenery was overwhelming. It reeked of the noir landscape. The dark alleyway, the torches, and the cars, the streetlamps and bloodstains were completely believable. The straight-laced cop Cole Phelps was a tiring and dull cardboard cutout. By producing a character so overtly lawful 'good', we were left with a long string of repetitive actions with little or no motivation to continue with the plot.

My theory: Cole Phelps should have been a private detective. The LA landscape was excellent, but without the difficult protagonist the game was completely unable to fit into noir film genre. The police are boring. They have to be boring to keep us safe, they have to be boring to be uncorrupt, they are boring because if they weren't boring they would be dodgy. Private detectives are intrinsically difficult characters. They sit on the divide between private and public, at once affecting the atmosphere of political environments whilst simultaneously being self-serving only. They have power without responsibility. A dirty difficult protagonist in the spectacular LA environment would have created a game which not only had great set pieces (as in the cases) but an engaging over-arching plot. I haven't gotten anywhere near far enough into the game for this very reason. I'm not feeling the story.

My experience of this game has also been coloured by reading a book entitled Queenpin by Megan Abbott a crime fiction writer who has recently appeared in local libraries everywhere and is being rather patronisingly called a 'debutante' on the cover each of her novels. Queenpin follows the story of an anonymous (and thus liminal) woman who finds herself working for a mover and shaker (The Queenpin). I certainly entered into the book as green and fresh as the girl who fast becomes embroiled in the sexy criminal underworld. It's a great, easy and refreshing read, and I would recommend it. It is also soaked in more noir than your average pastry: it is the tirumisu of crime fiction. Yum. As we watch the girl's fall from grace, we are voyeur to this seedy world. It is this voyeurism which LA Noire utterly lacks. Were the protagonist a private detective, the potential for watching would be far greater. Whilst the police officers palate operates in fullcolour, a private detective can only ever be sepia-toned. Brown, grey and black.

Players of GTA weren't ready to go to the other side of the yellow tape. They didn't want to legitimise the policeman they have obnoxiously slaughtered for fun since the late nineties. If they are anything like me they certainly don't sympathise with Phelps. But the more anarchic role, the role of being at once part of the law, and yet against it, was what made red dead near perfect. It is also what would have made LA Noire a masterpiece.

ALMOST THERE!!!

Day 19 - Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in: Jhoto!
Who doesn't want pokemon to be real?
10 years old setting out on the back of a ponyta, five other awesome critters in tow. Battling and earning independence, it certainly feels like a better rite of passage than high school.

Day 20 - Favourite Genre:
RPG. This is not exactly a narrow genre and really I would categorise this as any game which has strong storytelling elements with emphasis on character. In the past I was well into final fantasy and as I have gotten older I have still retained a fascination for interesting plots and characters. The gameplay has to hold it's own, however. Into this category I would place harvest moon, and pokemon alongside many of the modern action adventure games, red dead and half-life and everything in between.

Day 21 - Game with the best story:
Red dead wins again. Beautifully written plot, well rounded characters. True and believable ending.

Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you.

All of the harvest moon games after Back to nature. Dear God who gave marvelous the reins. Incapable of producing anything as nearly addictive or challenging or polished as Back to nature. The loading screens were soo long winded, and the only aspect of the farming experience they managed to create was the sheer unadulterated boredom. Whilst I loved every chicken I bred on my little farm on the PSX the 3D cows of the later games failed to woo me. Yawn yawn yawn. Rune factory could prove to be a mild diversion. But I have the feeling it will still be all the grind with less reward.

Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style:
De Blob:

The wii can get it right! The art style of this and it's sequel are both perfectly in tune with what was required of the game. The depressing grey landscapes are not simply restored they flourish into stunning bright city scapes. Plus you are the one who makes it beautiful. I think the original edges it though, because more emphasis is played on more colour, you can score bigger points by painting with the whole spectrum of colour; a feature which the new game has lost.

Day 24 - Favourite classic game:

I have no idea what 'classic' means. I certainly don't enjoy the nintendo hard games of the past, and even gameboy mario is more than I can stomach. I enjoy pacman, but I'm never gonna really get in a spin about games I never really connected with. I guess my first favourite game was spyro year of the dragon. The best little platformer I've experienced, it comined really great level design with sweet baddies and lots of really fun minigames. But PSX is not exactly old enough.

Day 25 - A game you plan on playing:


LA Noire.

I picked this over Portal 2, because I have little to say. I know it will be a fantastic game and it's already tortured me and consumerism ways by forcing me to join steam and play indie games.

LA Noire intrigues me, I wonder and hope that the game will play like a cross between Phoenix wright and GTA. Crime scene investigation, inerrogations, combined with shoot-outs and car chases, all set in the blisteringly sexy setting of the 40s. Literally can't wait.

Day 18

Day 18 - Favourite protagonist: Travis TouchDown

No More Heroes.

Travis is a stupid cunt. He gets sold down the river just because he wants to fuck a sexy chick. And it is for that reason he's a great protagonist. Driven, he's willing to go through all the manual labour and vicious light saber battles just to get the arbitrary title of no. 1 assassin. It's endearing that he would try so hard. He encapsulates the american otaku, thus the developers use him as a social commentary on the materialism of Japan culture particularly when it is taken up the west.

Plus he has a really cute kitten called Jeane.

30 days of gaming etc.

Day 11 - Gaming system of choice:

This has to go to the xbox 360, it is far and away the best console ever made which pains me greatly because microsoft are so fucking annoying in other areas of their brand. The attitude towards third parties is what makes this console great. Whilst nintendo has this inane obsession with only really pushing the identical dross they excrete every two years or so the xbox encouraged a stronger gaming industry by ensuring that small developers could get onto the international circuit.

Xbox Live Arcade is an example of how inclusive communities lead to more games, better games and cheaper games. The PC was the best equipped to do this first but the xbox is the best console for experiencing games which might not have had international playtime if it weren't for XBLA. Plus my computers all suck too hard for me to a PC gamer.

Day 12 - A game everyone should play.

The Lego movie game franchise.

It really doesn't matter which one you choose because they are all basically the same, but they are the perfect universal game. These are really the only games from a movie I play, (excepting viva pinata.) These are the games my kids will grow up on. These are the games all my siblings could all on some level appreciate. They are simple colourful and the cut-scenes are genius. At their heart they are fantastic action puzzle games which require replays to get the best of the content. They are great value for money and if someone is looking a game for their kids they cannot go wrong with this.

Day 13 - A game you’ve played more than five times:

I play all my games more than five times. Unless you mean to completion. In which case, none of my games. What a stupid question.

Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper;

I have never had a gaming wallpaper, my wallpapers are always cats.

Day 15 - Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now.

Red Dead Redemption, Undead Nightmare.

Zombies have invaded the wild west and it's up to John Marston to figure out how to stop the hoard, and save his family. This shot is the first of the four horses of the apocalypse unlockable in the game: WAR. He rocks, and can set fire to zombies with his firey hooves. -.-

Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes

Final Fantasy IX.

I know these games are not good. But this was the first game I ever asked for for christmas, it was the most sumptuous and beautiful opening sequence and I absolutely adored watching the cut scenes. I was a teenage girl at the time. My favourite was by far the sequence where the ship takes off and the queen fires huge hooks it in the hope of preventing the kidnapping. Action and sexy sexy looking scenery. I don't care that it was a boring grindy game because the sensation of falling in love with those flat 2D characters is still very ingrained.

Day 17 - Favourite antagonist:

I love a good villain. Portal's GlaDos is nicely rounded and a really interesting character. She sent chills down my spine in the trailer for the new game. Most villains are just annoyances with very little development other than wanting to fuck up your life. I think the scariest bad guy; though not necessarily an antagonist, was the spider in Limbo. Jesus christ that thing was fucking awful.

30 days of Gaming Part 2

Day 6 - Most annoying character

Otis, Dead Rising.

In a game so ridiculously hard, to have some fool calling you up all the time just makes it harder. His calls always come when you are backed into a corner or fighting against a boss. Ugh. Stop calling!
Day 7 - Favorite game couple

Harvest Moon Back to Nature, any girl, main boy.

Such a sweet game and sure to appear on my list again. In this small town you have chosen to make your home there are five beautiful women to choose from Ann, tomboy who lives with her dad at the inn; Karen the sexy grown up girl; Mary the librarian, Popuri from the chicken farm bit ditsy, Ellie the nurse. I always used to go for popuri because she was easiest to please. She liked flowers. Emily used to go for Mary, There was a glitch on the pal version of the game which mean't that marriage was impossible, because the game would just crash forever.

Above, Popuri... black heart, I need to give her more flowers.

Day 8 - Best soundtrack

The 8-bit era didn't necessarily do it better, but sometimes the gameplay and the soundtrack come together in such a way as to make it impossible to find a place where the music stops and the game begins. They are one and the same. This is certainly the case with Tetris.

You are already humming it aren't you.

Day 9 - Saddest game scene

Red Dead Redemption: *spoilers*

What? How could you do that! You bastards!!!! And now I have to play as his stupid half-baked, witless and rude son. Fuck. Now I really am depressed.

Day 10 - Best gameplay

Guitar Hero III legends of rock.

This game has the best gameplay because you have to practice to get good enough to continue. It's the most satisfying process. I started barely able to complete a song on easy, and then over time, over the years I managed to get good enough to pass songs first time on expert. I might have gotten as much satisfaction from just learning the instrument, I doubt I would have stuck with it without the constant feedback from the game, telling me I rocked, when all evidence pointed to the opposite.

I finally have a cause.

I HATE PROTESTS. I hate protesting.

They want to close my library. Well, not my library specifically, but possibly yours or the library I might have looked in on in the future. The library I might have sheltered from the rain from. Spent 10 minutes in before catching a train. The library I might have found a gem of local history in. The library I might have stolen a cheeky kiss in. The library I might have owed a fortune in fines. To close libraries is to limit experience, to shut off opportunity and to leave people without books.

The Victorians gave us capitalism, they destroyed village communities they drove dirty railways and chimneys through every town and city. But they democratised learning. I think of Oadby Library. My Haunt. A small but cleverly thought out philantropic gift from the Victorian Ellis family. In the village where they lived they ensured the railway bypassed the village (sneaky) and built parks and gardens, swimming baths and a public library. They exploited, but it was an economy which gave access to individuals in my village to books. A fundamental improvement of Victorianism was this introduction of schooling, free education for all. In my mind, it is this which had more impact on the development of a middle class than any other. People could escape the social boundaries set in place by their class through learning, and this education came for free at libraries.

I was brighter than my classmates because I read. I may have read anyway, but the weekly visit with my parents to the library was vital, when I was young. Being able to walk to the library coloured every one of my teenage summers. Maxing out my library card was a dangerous and continuous trial and delight. Breaking my back carrying books on popular science, fantasy, psychology, history, graphic novels (dear God I remember the first manga) and fiction, is an activity I continue to pursue to this day.

It will not do to say that there is another library a few miles on. It is the poor who cannot afford the bus ticket, who haven't got the cars, who are unwilling to make the effort to go a little bit further just because their kid wants to read the latest charlie and lola. The middle classes will be outraged, of course. They will suffer less, they will miss it more, but they can afford to make the effort.

I will go to the library tomorrow. I will get my book. I'm not sure what it will be. But I'm sure just entering will give me the same feeling of excitement, of prospects. Enormous prospects, not just that I will find something fabulous, but that doing so will make me cleverer. I just hope I'm not too late, jumping on the bandwagon just before it passes.

30 days of gaming part 1 of 6

Day 1 - Very First Video Game.

Pokemon Blue:

I am sure when it comes to gamers and especially girls who were a children of the 90s pokémon stands out as the game which got people playing. I played, I conquered, I caught 'em all.

Day 2 - Your Favourite Character.

John Marston - Red Dead Redemption.

I hated all the most recent grand theft auto games for one principal reason. The protagonists were cunts. The gameplay was fun, I like thesandbox, but the characters were just idiots who let themselves get caught up in awful situations. I admit my main experience is with the ever dependable Nico Bellic. A man who comes to liberty city hoping for a new life, and instead of getting a job, tags along with and gets screwed over by his inane and equally stupid cousin. What is there to connect with. Nico was nothing like me, and I certainly didn't want to have sex with him. (The bits with girlfriends weirded me out.. because WHY? Why would anyone date the silly bastard... he didn't exactly smoulder with bad boy sexy, he was just always getting into situations where killing was the only option.

This brings me onto John Marston. I was nervous when I bought this... I'd paid £35 for it and if it didn't pay dividends it would have all been wasted. I.e. if Marston had not been someone I connected with I would have kicked myself. My fears were quickly allayed. John is surly, quiet and cowboy-like but polite to women, generally kind and always trying to do the right thing. This frustrated James who was trying to play marston as evil... the game rarely gives you that option. Marston is a fully rounded character. He tries to do the right thing, but he is occassionally vengeful. The ambiguities of the west are fed to the player through his character. The landscape is a once lawless, and yet Marston's situation is being controlled by the corrupt government boys whose appearances open and close the story. I was interested in the story in ways which other games usually fail to engage me. Plus he's sexy as!

Day 3 - An Underrated Game

Chocobo Dungeon Wii.

Admit it... you've never heard of this game. And when I bought it, neither had I. My expectations were as low as the price. It is a rogue dungeon quest game where you step onto dungeon maps and have no clue where you are going or how to complete to the next level. The protagonist is an over-friendly and very helpful chocobo. Voice acting/ cut scenes aside this was a really fun game... until I got stuck on a dungeon where I only had one hit point. Ouch.

Day 4 - Guilty Pleasure.

Plants Vs. Zombies.

I think guilty pleasures are the games you play for waaay too long, pointlessly. Games with no story, no beginning, no end. This goes for most addictive games whether they are casual or hardcore. Super Meat Boy certainly falls into this category. As do the katamari games. I'm not going to apologise, my mum certainly doesn't when she plays spider solitaire for four hours at a time.

Day 5 - Game character I think I'm like.

It was going so well. This would be so much easier if I was a man. There would be characters to aspire to, characters who I would love to be, or love to be mates with. But for girls? What games actually cater for them.I can think of one or two examples of "strong female characters" such as Lara Croft, or Bonnie from Red Dead. But the woman in video games has for so long been the princess to be rescued... or the sexy woman. I'm not saying I'm not sexy, I'm just saying that it's not my only character trait. I don't want to pretend I'm like some boring cardboard cut out of femininity. So for that reason I am choosing... Oh wait.. Kirby's male. Did you seriously have to claim that one?

I guess I'll just have to hope that one day I can be half as interesting, exciting and dangerous as:

GLaDOS I think we can put our differences aside.

Don't normally do these... but.

Let's get this straight. I like to write what I want to write about, But for the few weeks I'm gonna try and post and explain my choices for these. I won't do one update a day... this isn't fucking tumblr. But I will go through these a couple at a time and explain what's great about them.

Day 1 - Very first video game
Day 2 - Your favourite character
Day 3 - A game that is underrated
Day 4 - Your guilty pleasure game
Day 5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were)
Day 6 - Most annoying character
Day 7 - Favorite game couple
Day 8 - Best soundtrack
Day 9 - Saddest game scene
Day 10 - Best gameplay
Day 11 - Gaming system of choice
Day 12 - A game everyone should play
Day 13 - A game you’ve played more than five times
Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper
Day 15 - Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now
Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes
Day 17 - Favourite antagonist
Day 18 - Favourite protagonist
Day 19 - Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in
Day 20 - Favourite genre
Day 21 - Game with the best story
Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you
Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style
Day 24 - Favourite classic game
Day 25 - A game you plan on playing
Day 26 - Best voice acting
Day 27 - Most epic scene ever
Day 28 - Favourite game developer
Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving
Day 30 - Your favourite game of all time

Painfully hard platform puzzlers.

I started playing two different indie platformers today. Both of them are spectacular but I found the differences extremely unnerving. Warning: Spoilers, nothing major, but you have been warned.

Super Meat Boy:

The game is tongue-in-cheek parody of the hyper-violence and masochism in video games. The games protagonist, meat boy, goes on a super mario quest to save his female friend, bandage girl from the grasp of doctor fetus... an evil baby. It takes the plot of super mario, and desecrates it with meaty bloody juice splodges designed to represent meat boy whenever he hits anything sharp. Hacksaws and hyperdermic needles have their wicked way with our unfortunate protagonist, but he brushes it off and respawns within seconds. (Sometimes before you realise he'd even died.) The gameplay is spectacularly fun, with just the right combination of impossible challenges, and satisfying reward. The best reward comes at the end of each level when all attempts at completing it are shown simultaneously in a live-action replay. You watch with satisfaction as a lone SMB completes the level in one fell swoop, or else, watch 40 or 50 meat boys simultaneously take on the level. Each is picked off at all the different obstacles you had to grind past, with one lone lucky guy reaching bandage girl. Pure fun.

Limbo:

In comparison Limbo, is one of the most stark, goosebump inducing, intense gaming experiences. Black and white, total quiet, and barely anything moves.

The reds and browns of SPM still echoed in my eyes as I sat down to play this game. It was like I'd eaten too much chocolate (insert your drug of choice here), and now was time for the come-down. Limbo has no introduction, a boy wakes up in a black and white forest and he must go forwards, (going back gives you the "wrong way achievement.") Totally alone, he trudges through the forest, jumping haphazardly over obstacles, and then gets brutally killed in a bear trap. It's a sickening feeling. You mourn a just met character. Then he respawns... but painfully slowly. Unlike in SMB there is no promise of the cathartic watch all the painful deaths, in fact there was no beginning to the level at all, no comforting tutorial. The help section of the game is like an ikea manual, a to jump, b for action, left stick to move. The developers seem to know that once a seasoned player is looking for "help", it's because they want some kind of explanation. They offer none.

Drowning is the worst. No insta-respawn here, you watch as the bubbles slow and his eyes close. At least the bear trap was quick. The kid becomes instantly more vulnerable, instantly younger. You've watched him trudge through the forest barely able to jump, and now he's never even been taught to swim. It's unbearable.

Both games are beautifully crafted and ingeniously well-thought out. They were both worth every penny I paid for them, but playing them one after another was like going on a bouncy castle and then cutting myself for ever believing I deserved to have fun.

Is it worth it?

THE PRO-CON LIST

For doing a part-time MA.

Pros:

• I love to study, and I get a lot out of the learning experience.
• I am pursuing an academic career.
• I am doing well in both aspects of my life; at work and at University
• I enjoy the work, and feel as though I am developing myself.
  

Cons:

• I have no time, and very little social life.
  
• I haven't been to salsa in months.
• The house is a total mess and will always be like this.
• I don't have enough time to support James.
  
• I have very little money.
  
• My family are having to pay for me to get through this degree.
  
• Academic life grows more terrifying and impossible by the day. Whilst I found my undergraduate contemporaries to be fashionable at best, the people around me now are bright and wonderful. I continue to wonder whether my academic interests have any merit whatsoever.
  

The cons probably would outweigh the pros if it weren't for my selfishness. If I was to quit the studying I would have more time for James, more money to support us both and more time for a social life. But I wouldn't be as happy in myself and I don't think I would be as satisfied throughout life if I didn't continue to give this a go. I would regret it. This is short-term. Two years feels like forever right now, but it will pass.

I need to write more about what it is like working in a kitchen. To talk about filling and emptying the cold counter, to explain about the red hot stove which burns me if I simply look at it. I need to explain the thrill of service, of a million things to do at once, and only rigorous and continual quickness will get them done.

Alas there is no time.